Sex before Marriage… Who cares in today’s Church?


Sex before marriage has always been a much-discussed topic, but not so much nowadays, even in the Church. However, there are still many believers and their families who wrestle with what the Bible says in comparison to the latest social norms.

The Scriptures clearly teach that sex is a gift from God meant only for a husband and wife. That God designed it to be an expression of the couple’s love for and enjoyment of each other as well as to produce children. Sex is not only for procreation but it is a natural result of it. And, any sexual practices outside of marriage are considered sexually immoral and subject to the judgment of God.

The Biblical perspective on sex is very simple and yet many Christians today do not believe or teach this. The Church, therefore has a problem, because when we start compromising with the truth of God’s Word, our faith begins to unravel and where does it end?

The belief that there should be no sex before marriage has been a cornerstone doctrine of the Christian faith for the past 2000 years and is not something that is changeable, no matter how unpopular it may be. As Andrew Wilson of Think Theology points out, “If you’re Jewish you will be circumcised, if you’re vegan you don’t eat meat, and if you’re a Christian you don’t have sex before marriage.”

I think the point about vegans abstaining from meat is a good analogy for Christians abstaining from sex before marriage. In today’s society, it is fine to be a vegan, but if you speak about purity and place restrictions on sex before marriage you risk being shunned. We as Christians therefore need to take a stand for the truth and refuse to compromise our beliefs. Though it may be unpopular, we need to speak up.

Sex before marriage goes against God’s Word and brings judgement

Personally, I feel that we as Christians are called to love everybody no matter who they are or what they are doing. However, we do need to make a stand for what is taught throughout scripture including Hebrews 13:4. Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Honoring marriage is something we must do in our homes. For example, if we have adult children, who are in sexual relationships, though they aren’t married, we need to tell them that while they are welcome to visit with their partners, they must sleep separately.

I know this is radical for some people and yet it shouldn’t be. I also realise it can be extremely unpractical but from a pure Bible perspective, it isn’t negotiable. I have learnt first-hand that compromising silences our Christian witness. I have also realised the importance of making a bold stand in the face of rejection and even if children decline to visit.

The reason such a bold stance is needed is that sex has become a god in this modern age. It is an idol that is so powerful it seeks to take God’s place in our lives and make us its slaves. As true believers, we have to bring down false gods and fully worship the One true God.

Remember the Bible story about the Ark of the Covenant and what happened when it was brought into the temple of the pagan ‘deity’ Dagon. The next morning Dagon had fallen flat on its face. No other god can stand in the presence of the true God and we are carriers of His presence wherever we go.

We cannot afford to be intimidated and especially not by the spirit of Jezebel. This is the seductive spirit that celebrates sexual impurity. It tries to get its way by seduction and if that doesn’t work it will resort to intimidation or manipulation. This is the spirit that came against the Prophet Elijah even though he had destroyed the false prophets of Baal.

But, as with Elijah, God has His remnant who have not bowed to compromise. It is this remnant that offers hope to a world that is lost by refusing to compromise. In tough times like the coronavirus pandemic, there have been many largescale prayer meetings like the Unite714 Global Prayer Event to intercede for revival. It’s apt that such events use 2 Chronicles 7:14 as a foundation.

When it comes to national prayer and especially against plague or pestilence this is a key scripture and it identifies four things God’s people must do. Firstly we need to humble ourselves, then pray, then seek God’s face and finally, we need to turn from our wicked ways. The promise is then that He will hear us and heal our land.

We need to draw a line in the sand concerning our past compromise and hypocrisy and move forwards in a new purity and fortitude. I for one repent of my hypocrisy and compromise. Because I know without my turning God cannot bring His healing into my life, home and nation. Also, if I don’t personally repent, then how can I expect others to do so?

Of course, if we have sinned, even in the sexual area, God will forgive us and we can be free from our past sin. However, we have to put that past behind us and walk in the holiness God requires of us. And if we want to see revival come to our nation then we need to do what is necessary.

We must have the humility to simply accept what God’s Word says including what He says about sexual purity. Failure to do this is pride and it comes before a fall. To see revival we must pray and seek God’s face and turn from our wickedness. We can do that, not only for ourselves, but on behalf of our nation, in the belief that our family and community will follow.


Wordsmith, overcomer and exhorter. Al has a degree in Journalism and Media Studies and years of publishing experience in Africa, the UK, Israel and USA. He left South Africa in 2001 to work for GOD TV in England and is the author of three biographies. Blogs he writes for include; International Christian and UK and US Christian.

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